This is Regan. She’s one of my roommates from The New School and she’s from Forest Hill, MD. She’s never been to California, and during our winter break she braved a delayed flight to see me (what a doll). Here are a few choice reactions from the West Coast depraved.

Disneyland/California Adventure:

S: What’d you like most about Disneyland/California Adventure?

R: The DILFs.

Los Angeles

S: What’s the difference between people from NY and LA?

R: People in LA are tan and blonde; a lot of blonde people.

In N Out Burger

R: Shake Shack is better. In-N-Out’s burger was decent but their fries were awful and I don’t understand the craze.

UCSB

S: Are the boys cuter at UCSB or UMD?

R: Oh, UCSB. I like the surfer guys. I like how they carry their surfboards and ride their bikes at the same time; it’s impressive.